Wren’s journal Entry Number Ten: Romance

Oh, my goodness, he really is attractive – and he’s quick!  I thought I’d had my first “real” kisses from Dunlin, but Basuto … let me just say, I’m impressed.  His hands are a bit too familiar, but I’ve rather enjoyed that, as well.  He has whispered some very intimate and alluring things in my ear, and I am tempted. 

I know what I would do if I were … (I am absolutely NOT going to use the word, real, anymore) If it was the usual set of circumstances.  But it isn’t.  So … do I maintain the same set of values I would have if I had to face the usual set of consequences?  I can have sex with every male on planet Equus for the next thousand years and never get a disease, never find myself settled with a child. What I would find myself – is jaded.  Bored.  Kind of a frightening thought. 

We Equi have a good moral code.  We tend to stay true to our mates, and we tend to mate for life.  There is a certain amount of experimenting that goes on before marriage, and I actually think that could be channeled a little better.  What if we had some actual sexual training before we got married, so we would know what to expect, and how to behave, and so that the intense titillation regarding sexual intercourse and love-making was channeled by and into someone professionally trained to deal with it?  It would take that first, rushing need for sexual release off the menu, and allow us time to really focus on what is important in a mate – kindness, gentleness, friendship, an understanding of one another’s goals – all the things that would make for a long courtship, and that make a marriage last for a hundred and fifty years or more. 

And here I am, overanalyzing things again instead of just enjoying myself.  I can be a wild woman.  But … I’m realizing, I’m not cut out to be a wild woman.  It’s a shame, too.  The circumstances certainly lend themselves to it. 

What I think I will do, is talk to my mentors about sexual trainers.  Maybe even think a bit about whores and their function in our society.  After all, that’s what I was designed to be.  When all is said and done, it comes back to that.  I know how it makes me feel to know that is to be my … be one of my functions in life.  What if all of us – not just those of us trained to pleasure the royalty – all of us, had full rights and a highly valued function in society?  I mean valued for the RIGHT reasons.  What if being a whore was exactly the same as being a teacher, a physician, a bloodlines specialist?  We are so advanced in so many ways, and yet the function of women in our society is behind where it should be.  All jobs, all professions should hold equal sway.  No job should be considered better, or worse than another. 

I’ve said it before and I will say it again.  This is what I aim to do with my extended lifetime.  I will have the time to see it through, that’s for sure.  In the meantime, I think I will do more research into this sexual training thing.  Maybe some hands-on sorts of things.  Just the thought makes my toes tingle. 

And I have exams to study for.  Sigh.